Born to run

I have been enthralled and completely consumed with reading a book, "Born to run", gifted me by Madhu. I had heard so much about the book and was delaying its purchase because I was deluged with travel and a lot of other reading material. However, the gift from Madhu was a God-send. It is a gripping saga about a tribe, called the Tarahumara, that is reclusive, stone-age primitive and live in the desolate canyons of Mexico; but, possess a divine and primal ability to run unimaginable distances at an amazing pace - everyday!

This narrative is woven around an epic and real race, unadulterated by commercial swindlers that normally flock such events, and takes place in these canyons, between gifted but urban ultra-runners and the Tarahumara tribe. So possessed and passionate are the urban ultra-runners that they leave home and hearth in the USA and travel across the vast mountainous regions of Mexico, braving rickety bus rides thru' treacherous inclines on cliff faces and risk being killed by drug runners, to race with this tribe. The race is organized by a white Ultra-runner nicknamed Cabollo Blanco (White Horse) who had renounced all his earthly possessions and chose to live in a cave in Tarahumara land where he communed with nature and ran the trails as a free spirit.

I went out for my run this morning in an environment that shuts out the sounds and sights of our obnoxious urban existence. I drew in the cool air even as the odour of dung, from nearby cow-sheds, pierced my nostrils, as I slowly ran easy and ate up the miles in a smooth 8K. I have often relished such runs wherein I look at my watch only upon returning home - no pace; just pure strength and smooth stride. There is a place for obsession with speed, but for the most part that is only for a race round the corner. After all, you get the oppotunity to play a game with yourself and throw your hat in the ring. It adds a zing to the whole process of becoming - a runner.

Loneliness of the long distance runner

I arrived from Coimbatore last evening to some joyous scampering and leaps from Dojo, our Daschund. I understood from Minoti that he has been sitting at the door since morning, as if telling her that "Papa is reaching any moment now":-) I sank gratefully in the plush chair feeling the travel exhaustion draining from me. I was tempted to pour a small one but refrained as I'd already had more than my fair share in Coimbatore. I texted the RFL guy that our run on Saturday morning was on.

When the alarm went off at 5:20am, I crawled out of bed and took stock of my condition, a habit I've acquired to "listen" to my body. The signs were not good as I felt very tired and achy; but then I'd promised the RFL'er guy I'd meet him at 6:10am. We met up and hid our water bottles in some flower pots and took off. I muttered to the guy that our 32K run should take 3hrs 20 but he looked up in surprise and stated that it should not take more than 3 hrs! I shrugged and told him that I would show him the loop which we were to do thrice and that he could increase pace on the 2nd and 3rd loop, if he felt strong.

He turned out to be a bird watcher and pointed out several birds to me and sheepishly offered an apology when he blurted a latin name where "Kingfisher" would do - but then he informed me the distinction between the coloured one and the current dark indigo; hence the latin:-) This is the first time I am running with someone alongside at Aarey and his pace is about right considering his target marathon times to be close to mine. However, he has always finished 30 mins later and today I realized why.

After the 2nd loop he suddenly turned to me and stated, "Dan, I'm feeling heavy and will call it a day". I told him that listening to his body is the right thing to do and that he should return home. I never (my ACE code of ethics doesn't allow me to) challenge anyone to "push" when they are tired. I suddenly felt disheartened that I had another 10.7K to do on my own. I trudged on and shuffled at times in the blazing sun. This kind of mental game was not new to me, I thrive on it. I winced as I climbed the long steep hill the 3rd time and reached my finish with a triumphant smile.

I analysed my good friend' run today and his confident statement that we should be taking 3 hrs for this run. I realized that many runners do lower distances (say 21K) at a scorching pace and feel, by extention that they can hold this pace for another 21K. I'm not sure where this come from but I think it has something to do with first wishing, then dreaming and finally believing this! My friend is probably ruining his races by running at a pace he cannot hold for long. He shared with me his SCMM experience. His splits say he reached 30K in 2:54 and finished in 4:40! It means he did the last 10K in 1:46, which is mostly a walk.

At the end of today' run, I realized that all these years I've been running by myself, has been a satisfying experience. I have my thoughts to turn over in my mind. I sort out the issues I have at work or with the people in my life and all this while my brain and heart get a rush of "canabinoids" that give me a high and a Hi-5! Thank you lord for another day. Lastly, my friends are running the "Greenathon" today with Milind Soman and the race is 100K with a break for 6 hrs to go home and sleep! I think its going to be a bum-trip!

A new dawn

I woke up at 4:45am from a sleep of the dead. I wanted to sleep some more but it cannot be, for I have been blighted by a streak of insomnia for years. I must say that the last few nights have been amazingly different and I wonder what soothing potion or emotion has caused this flood of Tryptophan, which has otherwise been so elusive. I am sure it will be short-lived but then I must pray that it stays a while.

Everything is new; starting with my professional life and then there are the two marathons that I raced in less than a month and yes, my focus on the things that I have to do (nay accomplish) this year. I am working on a new schedule to help me enjoy my runs and yet focus on quality. I must also focus on strength and flexibility, that has been my forte for many years. Most of all, I must focus inwards and find solace inside my coccoon. It is alright to occasionally venture out to see if things have changed: they won't and that' not surprising.

My run today was dot on target but the RPE was a tad on the higher side. I wasn't too concerned because I was enjoying myself and changing pace to make sure I did. I met an RFL'er who described a problem and I diagnosed it as "leg length discrepancy" after a few queries and a repeated nod of his head. I advised him to confirm this with an Orthopedist. He had a bright smile when he expressed his gratitude and it made me happy. Further on, and I met the Aarey Walkers who are organizing a walking race. They confered on me, the honor of "Chief Guest" but I had to decline as I explained my commitments to NIKE.

Just the other day they had a "HOLI" function and it was nice to commune with them and eat hot desi snacks. I met my runner friend Mahesh and his gesture of respect, makes it worth my while to stop and listen to his runners' travails. He requested that I come to the start of the "Greenathon" as it would bouy his spirits - Yes, I think I will do it for him. I zipped up my pace in the last 2K as its going to be a long day. I have a flight to catch and bags to pack and Dojo, the only true friend, to whom I whisper that "I'll be back soon to tickle him":-)

Lana' day out

Sunday and its my time at the NIKE RUN CLUB. I did a less than satisfactory speed workout - well, I could not hold my pace, so I settled for something easier. The runners seem to enjoy our fun workouts involving zig zag runs and jumps and what have you. An older woman found it particularly difficult to do the one-legged hops and stretches but found the routine energizing. She bade us, "God bless you people!".

Lana is down from Seattle and we decided to take her out to "Prataps" since Russell was keen that she enjoy the fare served there. I do know that Russell had a fine time when we went there, post SCMM 2010. I called Bamoo to accompany us since its hilarious to see him order the food and the waiters around. Bamoo declined liquor because he religiously observes "Lent". However, he seemed to more than make up with the food:-).

We ordered prawn satay, chicken satay, pepper and garlic prawns, bombay duck, pomfret, rawas, prawn biryani, gassi, neer dosas - Oh God! Even as I write this post, I am clear that I will eat just "Dahi" for dinner. We stuffed ourselves to the gills. I, of course, made sure I got a wee bit "happy" with a nip of rum. A peaceful drive back and I slept like a log, to wake up and find it was 7:30pm! The day just breezed by. I wish I could sleep like this on most nights.

The game commences

An analysis about my running life and racing, that rose up thru' the clouds of thought, when I was in a quiet contemplative mood. Adapted from Dire Straits.

It's a mystery to me - the game commences
For the usual fee - plus expenses
Confidential information - it's in a diary
This is my investigation - it's not a public inquiry


I go checking out the reports - digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts in this line of work
Screwed up marathons - there's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason I still get used to it


And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of ties
Blinds on the window and a pain behind the eyes


Dan, step out the door, get ready to train
Oh! don't you worry, there is much to gain
Tenuous ties - no compensation
This is my - private investigation

No excuses

I have agonized a lot about this blogpost and finally realized that it is MY blog and I should keep the facts here for posterity. I must now share that although I had a horrible experience in my marathon at Auroville, I am truly proud of my achievement and have to thank God for it. However, I am also deeply disappointed with myself for sheer stupidity.

It all began at precisely 3:45am on the morning of the marathon. I am not sure whether it was the new electrolyte that I imbibed at 1:30am or the Horlicks Nutribars (did you check the expiry date?) that I was trying out for the first time (how utterly stupid of you, Dan!) or both, that caused disaster. I got my first indication of diarrhoea when I found my first call of nature to be semi-liquid. I did not think much of it because after all it was the first call that morning. When I reached the start line, I felt a shiver when my stomach groaned. I wanted to find a place to go for my second call that morning but I'd already reached the start very late - thanks to losing my way earlier:-) So, I sat quietly on a rock talking to Kingshuk, held on and prayed for divine assistance in "plugging the leak" until the finish.

It was not to be: I went for my second call at the 9km mark, in the darkness and in the bushes - I realized that if I waited long, it would be dawn and runners would see me:-) However, I don't think I could have waited long because by now the contents of my intestines were more liquid. I felt tears welling up as I realized that I would have to drop out of the race in a short while. It is the reason why my RPE was higher than I expected. It is the reason why I reached the halfway mark in 2:18; 21mins later than SCMM. I prayed fervently, "God, please don't do this to me in this race - please!". And so God heard my prayer - I believe in God, the father, almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I managed, and how! If one were to compare times of my fellow runners, one would see that most that had done the SCMM, were now about 30 - 35 mins slower at Auroville. In comparison, I was just 45 mins slow - Dan, only you know that you could have collapsed on the course - bloody ass!

I managed because I kept drinking electrolytes even though I had the urge to throw up during the run. The physical exertion was a strain on my heart and other systems trying to cope with a virus - yes, it was a virus because I am still unsteady on my feet today, Tuesday, and it is now the third day. I think it is a miracle that I finished this race and in a time that I think is super for the condition that I was in. I suffered dizziness this morning and wanted to stay home; but, I had work to do at the office. It was a virus because I threw up the contents of my stomach during lunch at Pondicherry. I survived what could have turned out to be a life threatening situation. I was advised to see a doctor but I'll give it a miss and observe myself today.

So, why didn't I write this in my race report? Well, I do think that most runners feel that one looks for excuses for a bad race and even if your reasons were genuine, they tend to disbelieve you. So, its better to cock a snoot and don't state your true reasons - I wrote my reason as "dehydration", but it was a half truth as it was only the "symptom" of the real reason. It is more important for ME to learn from this race. I am disappointed because I am fully aware that I have a weak stomach AND I was advising Madhu and Roshni about the perils of eating outside food, while travelling to Pondicherry!:-) I have never been as afraid as I have been these past two nights - I thought I'd have to be hospitalized considering the dizzy spells that I suffered in silence. Thank you Lord, for your goodness and kindness. Its true, Dan: as they day, "don't f*** with the full marathon" - but will I ever learn?

The Quick and the Dead

I was certainly not one of the quick that ran the Auroville 2010 full marathon - that privilege belongs to Ashok Nath; but, I was certainly close to dead at the finish line. I arrived at Auroville, with Madhu and Roshni who were doing their first full marathon to collect our bibs which was pretty simple and organized; though, the same could not be said about the arrangements for the dorm accommodation and transport for women. I enjoyed the pasta party and could have done with a second helping, if permitted and I noticed with a sense of longing that the chocolate cake that was served last year was missing. It was nice to catch up with the running fraternity and to make new friends too.

I was sharing a guest-house room with Dr Oak and we had some interesting notes to exchange on training and our running lives, as we talked on into the night, unable to sleep. We woke up at 3am, showered and drank some coffee; my miniature heater comes in useful on such occasions when you need to get your “fix”. We set out at 4:08 as the race was to begin at 5am and my first premonition about the shape of things to come came by as we lost our way in the darkness, trying to find the road leading to the assembly point at the start. We blundered in the dark aided by a faint glow from my cell phone and after some wrong turns and a circuitous 4K, we reached the start point at 4:47. I felt a dull ache in my legs, an ominous signal of residual fatigue from my SCMM race. I realized that my marathon was going to be 46K

I hoped for the best and eased into a gentle pace as the race began in pitch darkness. I tripped a few times and found I was not the only one as I heard a shout of “watch it!” several times, before dawn. The trail was lit by eerie glows from hand held torches shone to the ground by runners. At the 4K mark I realized that I should revise my target time from 4:15 to 4:30. At the 15K mark I downgraded it again to a 4:40 as I found the going tough. I reached the halfway mark in 2:18, a far cry from the 1:57 I had done at SCMM and my RPE was still high. The sun was up now and it was getting warm and sultry. I wondered, as my RPE went thru’ the roof, as to how I would really finish this race. The pain had seized my limbs as I found several runners overtake me.

There is no time to think about how much I hurt; there is only time to run – Ben Logsdon

I managed to keep running at a shuffle with the simple desire to get to the 32K without walking, a milestone that is hardwired in my brain. I felt refreshed at some points along the trail as I looked ahead to see a lonely path with nary a runner except a bird twittering on a far off tree and the sun’ rays streaming thru’ the trees. I managed, quite commendably, to reach the 36K point at this shuffle and then relaxed my limbs by walking for about 300m to the aid station. I felt recovered enough to begin my painful sojourn to the finish line even as I heard a race official providing wishful encouragement with a, “Just 6K to go. You’re looking good”. I smiled as I fully well know what an eternity 6K will turn out to be. I staggered on looking for the signboard showing 39 kms for I knew that the finish from there is mentally within my grasp.

I was now looking for a face saving sub 5hrs, a time I had never done in any of my previous marathons. I realized that if I didn’t speed up, I would reach in about 5:01. The dire warning must reset neuromuscular pathways because I don’t remember the next 3K except that my legs were moving fast and my lungs were bursting. I somehow found myself on the path leading to the finish enclosure and added a zip to my finish as I saw Rajesh Vetcha cheering me on. I looked at my watch and heaved a sigh of relief as I saw it stop at 4:55:35 – I am still to fathom this miracle. The race had taken so much out of me that I suffered severe dehydration and threw up about 3 hours later. I guess it would have been worse, had I not received some gentle attention from the masseuse (actually two of them :-)) in the massage enclosure; a place that I was firmly led to by a woman who saw me fall to the ground in exhaustion, near the refreshments enclosure. Well, the race had taught me a lot about post race micro-trauma and the time to heal before racing another marathon. I was, as the title says, almost dead, at the finish line.

Men, today we die a little – Emil Zatopek at the start of the Olympic Marathon