Farenheit

It seemed the perfect way to wakeup. My eyes popped open and I lay breathing easy, looking out at a dark sky, wondering whether it was an unearthly hour or close to dawn. I reached for my digital watch. It glowed to show 4:27am; just 3 mins short of my wake up alarm. I also felt well rested and wondered about Venkat, our RFL member' theory, about sleep waves and that waking up in the gamma phase causes disorientation and headaches: there was none of this.

I had too many things to do before Srinivas picks me up at 5am. This included the wash up ritual, my cuppa java, getting blocks of ice set in utensils, out of them and into an ice-box and putting together the paraphernalia I need for running a full marathon. Yes, we were scheduled to do our fourth marathon in as many months. The heat and humidity made it a daunting prospect.

We began our run at 5:40am and the first 28K were a breeze, in that, we had cerebral discussions on training requirements for running an Ultra-marathon (Comrades), real estate and of course the banter involving jokes from Kavin' repertoire. We had our angels in Madhumita, Pramila and Puneet; they have been selflessly manning an aid station for 4 - 5 hours; and, besides the usual ministrations of serving us electrolyte, or energy bars or handing out ice-water, they encouraged us with applause and cheering for every loop of 7K that we did. This time there were others that joined in to help us. There was Natasha, Ashwin, Allen and Kavin.

We started for the last but one loop and there was animated discussion about how we could do the same before 11am, which was 2 hrs away. Amit was like, 'Do gante mein aaram se ho sakta hai boss' and I replied, 'Amit, the game suddenly changes'. That became the catch phrase for all later; "the game changes":). We were still fine as we had done just 28K and since I am convinced that physiologically, the wall really does not disappear, I was the lone cynic. Then it happened: Srinivas' legs buckled at 30K and he announced, 'Dan, I'm plastered man. Don't know how I'm gonna finish this one!'

At 34K I felt as if lead was being pumped into the blood vessels in my legs. This was the cold and icy clutch of fatigue gripping me. A sense of impending doom made me feel desolate, as I still had a long way to go. At 35K, with one last loop to go and feeling a bit faint, I decided to tank up on electrolyte fearing cramps. It seems to have reached a part of my innards where it mattered most, as I felt a brief spell of freshness. Then at 38K, I felt my legs buckle, but the very thought that there were just 4K to go, allowed me to hang on to Amit (who felt the strain too and was also slowing down now), so that I could finish with him. When we had 400m to go, Mahesh was ahead, but turned around and came back to run alongside me saying, 'Sir, ke saath finish karna hai.' Courtesy, humility and simplicity are the terms of endearment that define these true friends of mine.

We staggered to the finish and had our angels give us a thumping welcome. My relief was ineffable but clearly evident from the way I hobbled and sat on a nearby bench:) A while later, I felt as good as new:) There was ample post run carboloading comprising a delectable selection of fruit, sandwiches, a box of turkish delights that were aptly called Harem' Delight and a sinful looking chocolate cake; the later being a celebration, both belated and advance, for Madhu', Puneet' and Supriya' birthdays. The classic finish to the whole event was the ice cold can of TUBORG and KINGFISHER DRAUGHT, thoughtfully cooled to perfection by our angels, who leave no stone unturned to spoil us:). The 4/12 was done and in the bag, but it was one hell of a run in rising mercury. I felt the faint strains Phil Collins' song in my heart;

I call out to the woman on the street
She can see I've been crying
I've got blisters on the soles of my feet
Can't walk but I'm trying

Oh think twice, it's another day for me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you and me in paradise

Dotage

I set the coffee pot on the gas burner to simmer and waited for the thick liquor to ooze and set free those wonderful aromatic flavors that rouse you from your sleep. I looked out at the aarey forest from my window and saw the misty haze hover like gun smoke on the trees. I never fail to marvel at how much of a difference forest cover makes to weather, just a hop, step and jump away from my concrete abode. My mind wandered to the visit our widowed neighbour paid me last evening.

She had come to hand over some Swiss chocolates and a gift as gratitude for our looking after her and her home, when she is away visiting her daughter. She was rather embarassingly effusive in her gratefulness. I could understand her feelings only when she briefly broke down, in mid-conversation, her voice catching as she said, 'loneliness is the worst scourge of old age, Daniel. And I thank God that you people are there for me. It is for this reason I have handed over our house keys to you; so that you can open the door some day - in case something happens to me!' I reassured her, as she was leaving, that we would always be there for her and that she needn't worry. As I watched her hunched and wan countenance drift past the corridor, I realised the full import and truth in her admiting the evitability of our existence.

I was feeling strong this morning and so I decided I'd go and blast my muscles a wee bit. They say you lose 1% muscle mass for every year you are over forty and I was focused on a way to preserve mine. There is this workout I learned from the US Navy Seals Physical Fitness Handbook (a treasure trove of workouts), in which the major muscle groups can be better worked using a 5 Rep max. It enthused me enough to prepare a chart of the sets, reps and weights I'd add to the bar. A different approach to working the muscles always serves to shock them into renewed hypertrophy. It seemed to work its magic; at least that' what it seemed in the bathroom mirror whilst taking a shower on reaching home. Vanity is not the sole preserve of women:) Lets hope, by God' grace, it lasts and I may humor myself with a quote:)

I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past. ~Robert Brault

Let it be

I am making the sacrifice and I will not dwell on the outcome, even if it doesn't work out. Two weeks and two job offers with not only a possible tripling of my current income; but, also a change in my profile to the big corporate league. I decided - I will have none of it! It means a locational change to a city not too far away; but, with Bryan needing me now more than ever, I cannot even ponder it. We discussed my coming home on weekends but it won't work out: my boy needs me, period. The Head-Hunter cannot understand my decision. I seek solace in words below, that formed a part of the life of St Francis Xavier. After all, my parents named me Vaz Daniel Richard Francis ( I do happen to like the fact that the Goa birth certifcate says, "Ricardo":))

"I was dazzled by the glitter of wealth; I was deceived by the promises of the world." The inexorable Judge will answer, "I warned you against these. Did I not say?"
What doth it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and suffers the loss of his own soul? (Matt. 16:26) - Ven. Louis of Granada - The Sinner's Guide

I went to the Gym today and worked out this aging body of mine and felt proud it responded well. There was this barrel-chested college student that did a Dead-lift with 150 lbs and dropped the bar with a thud. I had just walked in and seeing that the Bench-Press was occupied, paused to look at the bar and in a fit of lunacy, lifted it to do 8 reps of Dead-lift. The college student walked away bewildered. I worked on all the sets in my workout sheet, possessed with a frenzy that got me thru' the routine with a burn and a heaving chest, and maybe it had something to do with my own frustration.

I have taken time off to teach Bryan Physics, Chemistry and Biology, and so far, we seem to be doing well. The next two years are crucial and my sacrificing my own career will tell me whether my sacrifice is worth it. Worth be damned because I first need to sow the seeds well, if I want to harvest a good crop. God will provide the rest of the ingredients and the other inputs that are currently unpredictable (like rain) - I read recently about "deterministic unpredictability" and maybe my subconcious will work out a solution to this uncertainty and make it certain. Meanwhile, I have to let it be.....( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs)

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Seemed like old times

It was probably 4am but I'm just guessing. I stirred drowsily and felt the ache that' been in my hips since the long run on Saturday. It was a nice 22K (and another 3K of walk for me) with Amit and Ashwin, at a pace, conversational enough to permit exchange of several jokes. I wondered if it was just muscle soreness or a specific strain. It was clear that I would not be able to run this morning and so I reached out and put off the alarm. When I woke up next, it was bright and late for a run, so I decided I'd head to the Gym.

I gathered my towel and mused about my strength training over the last few years. I thought of the good ol' days when I trained with Nihal and Mainthan. There was this one occasion when Nihal and I worked out in the Gym for 4 hrs, much to the chagrin of the owner and the wonderment of fellow "spotters". The three of us were broad chested with well formed legs and biceps, and there used to be many that would want to train with us because of our aggressive, focused and heavy-set training. I felt a touch of nostalgia and melancholy about it all. Mainthan still trains in Australia and has won a few body-building competitions, while Nihal still retains a natural physique with his propensity to burn fat, as a certified "ectomorph":)

I reached the Gym with my workout schedule written on a paper, something that I have found useful. Charged with the enthusiasm of my recent thoughts on training, I set about meticulously arranging the Barbell and weights. It helped that the Gym was not too crowded and that I had enough time on hand. I focused on each set and racked up the weights to blast my pecs, traps and delts to a burn. It wasn't long before I felt the Tee tighten around my back and chest. I smiled a faint smile as I realised that I could still have blood pump up my muscles in a few sets, a benediction afforded to few. I chose to do three sets for each muscle group, something I had not done in years and I wondered as to why I had neglected my musculature when it paid me rich dividends for very little investment in time.

When I was through with military presses, by which time my muscles were fatigued but my Tee was taut around my chest, I breathed deep and went out into the garden outside the Gym. There were a few walkers and joggers still doing the 400m loop, as I hooked my feet under the parallel bars, while wide-eyed 20 somethings saw me do "roman situps". It is one exercise that really blasts your abs. I then went on to do box jumps at a rapid pace that got a guy and a girl, as well as the trainer teaching them to do leg raises, to pause and watch me. The trainer gave me a knowing smile (he knows me since the last 10 yrs) as he realised that such plyometric strength in the achilles tendon is unusual...except in a few (possibly runners), even as he whispered in marathi, "Thoe marathon runner aahe!".

Satisfied with my whole body strength and isometric workout, I went for a "spin" into aarey with my driver, who was parked outside the Gym. I watched the last few walkers hurrying home even as the heat was out and the strays had disappeared. I cruised down the hill and looked out, and I was reminded of the strains of "Danny boy", from the CD that was recently purchased for that very reason (it figures my name:)) and which I had played last night. I leaned back and sang the song even though it seemed narcissistic to do so:), but felt reassured that I was in a position to get back some semblance of my physique; even if it meant sacrificing my runs a bit.

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow'
Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

Way to go.

There is no exclamation mark in the title as it is neither a shout of encouragement nor a congratulatory note. It just means there is still a while before the bubbly can be uncorked. I am refering to the 3rd full marathon in a series of 12 in 12 months planned by Amit, that was scheduled yesterday.

Due to my own foolhardy nature, I bit on more than I could chew. I did a 20 miler about 10 days after the last FM. This seemed more than I could handle, given the other stressors in my life. I came down with a throat infection and a fever, about a week ago. Hoping for the best, I popped a few capsules of antibiotic and felt about 95% recovered by Thursday. I did not dissuade Amit from postponing the event and played it by ear. I popped my last antibiotic on Thursday night, realizing that doing it a day before would surely affect my performance.

When the alarm beeped at 5am, I woke up with a lingering lung congestion, a blocked nose and a low grade fever. I shook my head at the insanity that grips me at such times. I inhaled steam, blew my nose, showered in warm water and drank a hot cuppa java. I felt better and then reached for the rucksack loaded with 6 bottles of electrolyte, meant for my run. I whispered a prayer and stepped out the door.

The run was a loop of 7K to be done 6 times. This time our angels handling the aid station were Pramila and Puneet. Roshni joined us for 21K and then assisted them, while Madhu took the trouble of preparing Idlis for us; the perfect post-run carboloading snack. Every loop completed, earned us an applause from these four angels.

The first two loops went off like a breeze. During the third loop I felt the strain of inhaling air thru' phlegm lined bronchioles. Rohit, who joined us for 28K, kidded me about always thinking like an Engineer when I complained that "gas exchange" was affected. The 4th loop brought along fatigue that caused me to trail Amit, Raj and Dr Oak, by about 50m. I soon caught up with them, or maybe they slowed down for me. I was now focusing on drawing air deep thru' deliberate diaphragmatic breathing.

On the 5th loop, Raj, who had started about 30 mins earlier with the intention of doing 50K, sped ahead since he found our pace "easy":) He also wanted to add about 3K more, inorder to reach that target and hence his haste:) Amit, Dr Oak and I contented ourselves with a steady pace that would surely bring us in, in about 5 hrs. My fatigue had not gotten worse but I dreaded the 6th loop.

The blazing sun sapped us and it is only the frequent aid stations, which were placed such that we could drink up once every 25 mins, that saved us from severe dehydration. I found Amit and Dr Oak were still maintaining pace but I was particularly fatigued and distressed by now. Not wanting to have people wait for me to finish, I forced the pace on myself and realized that Amit gave me a sidelong glance, concerned at my labored breathing.

The final 2K was all that was left and I hung in there. I have often opined that people reveal their true nature thru' small events, words or attitude. Suffice it to say that I again appreciated Amit' selfless offer to "finish together", whereas he could easily have paced Dr Oak, who had zipped ahead. The run was done and I high-fived Amit for getting this one too in the bag.

The post run carboloading was taken up with gusto and excited banter on the whole event. Meanwhile, Raj came in and had his "touch down" for an easy 51K. He deserved all the plaudits that were heaped on him. His commitment, dedication and hardwork had paid off and his endurance has shot thru' the roof. As for lesser mortals and an "also ran" like me, I felt a sense of relief for having managed to finish a FM with a less than perfect condition. That' three in the bag and....well...way to go! At least I can pat myself on the back:)

Late Sunday evening, Amit, Raj, Srinivas and I shared a bottle of Talisker that was tabled by Srinivas as a token of gratitude for my having helped him in a small way towards his fantastic sub 4 in the HK marathon. The three of them seemed to focus on what they alluded to as my latent potential for better times in the FM. "Maybe," I said as I shrugged, hoping that I would get the time to train for it some day soon, and prove them right.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Imagine

I woke up early this morning and the eerie illuminated dial of my digital watch told me it was 4:18am. Try as I could, I was unable to go back to sleep. I stared like an owl into the darkness outside my bedroom window and soon heard the distant call for "Aazaan" at a nearby mosque. My immediate reaction was a flood of thoughts on the tense and precarious situation in the middle-east, with governments being overthrown and the global economic climate bracing for another salvo of fiscal mayhem.

I went back a few decades in time and remembered the Iran revolution and the rise of Khomeini. I was at St Xaviers College then and my very best friend Haji Ghulam Reza (I was impressed that he shared the same last name as the over-thrown Shah of iran) was concerned for his friends and family back in Tehran. My nostalgia of our puerile antics in college and the blatant flirting episodes, was interrupted by the soft-footed trot of Dojo' paws as he came over for a snuggle. I hugged him with relief realizing that there are but a few things in life that are immutable; and one of them is the love exuded by a pet, especially a dog, like our adorable Daschund.

My alarm went off and I rose quickly to set the coffee maker for my very own concoction of "Cafe Mocha". I felt the caffeine kick in and kick out the last vestige of sleep-deficit-filled fatigue. It is amazing how someone stumbled upon coffee and beer, two ambrosias that are part of a large spectrum of cannabinoids. I pulled on my running shoes and went out to meet up with a rather small group that was turning up for our weekend run. These are runs that provide spice and solace to an otherwise stressful and bland existence.

The run itself was very refreshing and it was one of those days when I finished feeling "comfortably tired" as Arthur Lydiard puts it in his training manual. However, for good measure and since I had a half hour in hand I went off on my own to skirt a loop around a dried up pond. It was on this brief sojourn that I remembered John Lennon and how utopian his dream was, when he put together the words of "Imagine";

Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You...you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You...you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one

What a wonderful world

I have been slacking on my runs and taking it too easy since the last few weeks (baring the recent full marathon run). I seem to enjoy lying in bed long after my alarm has gone off; and surprisingly, I am able to go back to sleep! I told myself last night, that I've about had it with this tryst with sloth and that I need to call on my "other self"; the Sergeant (Pepper) that barks at dawn saying, "Wake ye, wake ye, you good for nothin' bums - and line up for parade with your shoes shined enough, to reflect your clean shaven face!"

And so it happened that my alarm beeped this morning and got me rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, still contemplating some ridiculous excuse such as "tomorrow I'll run twice as long!". I sighed and dragged myself to the kitchen, wondering whether age was catching up with me. The aroma of coffee, as always awakened my senses, and it was while sipping the scalding java that I thought of a plan to re-ignite my senses to the power of my inner GPS (my "Rating of Perceived Exertion") and do a run that would last as long as I want it to, with nary a physiological indication of distress.

I started out hesistantly with nothing more than a shuffle, ready to walk in case my ventilatory threshold went over the brink. But lo and behold, I had soon made the transition to a canter and then I had to hold my horses, or I would have galloped:). It must be the two days of high quality plyometrics, I thought. What else could be the reason for my being able to float and glide along so easily in the rich green forest that I had now entered. For once, I was not looking at the road blurring past, but up at a beautiful sunrise, blue skies, wispy white clouds and dense undergrowth of tree branches dried to tinder. I felt happy that I had dispersed the clouds of slumber, in whose comfort I had been sinking for a while. I felt the rich guttural strains of Louis Armstrongs' classic fill my senses, even as a beatific smile graced my countenance.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world