Change

It is the close of another year in my life and as I look back there have been so many "occurrences" that make me desire that some things change in the new year. For one, my training has been at its most dismal, but surprisingly, I have run more races in this one year; four full marathons and a 50K! I have come to understand my true well-wishers in the course of my work and personal life. I have been able to hold the fort at work and have performed quite commendably. This, I do not want to see change.

I have been distraught with the death of a runner. He died of a heart attack under sad and tragic circumstances; mid-race and with no one to care for him while his heart was giving up on him - perhaps slowly. I have a small running fraternity that shares its views on a page created by me. I was anguished by the content that I read today. To top it all I got brickbats and insults when I tried to analyze the reasons for this runner' death. I had to post a rejoinder to disabuse people that might be in agreement on the issue. I know not who agreed and who didn't, with these views. Perhaps, it is difficult to take sides in a spat like this. But, it left me numb.

I hope the new year brings in a breath of fresh air with change. I need to revitalize my training and focus on my work. I have selflessly given a lot of my time to my small circle of runners. It is time to move on, as it is consuming me. I can take solace in my runs and the personal interaction with my runners at the NIKE RUN CLUB. Christmas is coming and brings good tidings and cheer and friends and family. It is the well deserved break that I need from a rather stressful month. There is of course Dojo' birthday to add to the excitement. And so, in the new year, I am even more aware that.....

Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same

The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummingbirds do fly

Winter turns to spring
A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes everything must change

"Lille" lost and missing everyone

It was a trip filled with nostalgia and also one which made me miss my family since they were not accompanying me this time. We have been taking vacations combined with my marathons, overseas and I have relished the lazy wake up calls that Monsoon and Bryan snooze thru' and the long hours Bryan spends in the hotel room shower and the shouts they get from me to hurry up, before they close the buffet of sumptuous European breakfasts that are a feature of bed-n-breakfast hotels. This trip to Switzerland and France was a business trip and my 7th (or is it my 8th?) visit to Basel, a city I know better than any other European city; and, that is why the nostalgia.

Thann and Lille where I spent the first 2 days were so much like the small towns you see in the french countryside. Thann was especially interesting for its wine growing status and the "wine route" was so scenic and reminded me of all the world war II movies I'd seen. I could imagine the clip clop of the Wehrmacht' boots on the cobble stones and the daring missions of women and men from the french resistance as they went about their furtive business. I remembered Bryan everytime I went to the local deli or cafe to buy myself a croissant or "Pain au chocolat". I choked as I ate cause I couldn't enjoy these things without him. I remembered Dojo for the poignant look on his face when I was packing my suitcase. He somehow knows its going to be a long trip when he see me leave after 10pm.

Basel has the best of three worlds; it shares a border with France, Germany and Switzerland. The city has its towering commercial spaces that display its being the focal point for the pharmaceutical industry as well as the trams which take you to the countryside. I enjoyed and experienced the true meaning of "fine dining" when my ex-boss took me out to dinner to sample the finest cuisine in Basel. I took time out to spend 3 hrs at the super market to buy things for people back home, including Dojo.

The grey skies, freezing rain and sub-zero chill made me even more home sick. I did feel a little cheer when I saw the first snowfall of the season and I visited the christmas market that signals the arrival of festive season in Europe. I bought a small crib with baby Jesus, that is hand crafted by village artisans; something I have been looking out for, since a long time. I, of course, had to hand carry it all the way because of its fragile structure. My arrival at home was announced none too silently by Dojo, who needlessly sped from one room to the other barking aloud. In fact, I am told that he had barked non-stop ever since his ears cocked up upon Monsoon receiving a call from me that I had landed at Mumbai airport. I know he truly missed me and I was happy to have his warm form snuggling against my side as I slid into a slumber.

Practice makes perfect

The past few days were disheartening for me. This despite the fact that I had reason to be cheerful after my podium finish at the Bangalore Ultra 50K, held on Sunday. There were spoilsports for me and I have relegated the experience to the garbage dump, where it has always belonged. There is one good reason to smile though:-) And that is that Bryan was able to pass the IITian Pace entrance test. This brought a lot of relief to Monsoon who agonizes a lot over Bryan' carefree attitude. I can immodestly state that his success is attributable to yours truly:-)

Bryan has a home tutor for Math, a mistake we made, thinking that he would do better if he did not attend tuition classes. Well, he has been displaying a lackadaisical attitude to his studies and the result was a mediocre performance in his first terminal exams in Xth std. The panic button was now pressed and we had to move quickly. If he has to attend classes next year, it had better be a reputed one. IITian Pace is one of the elite ones and realizing his math knowledge was less than average, thanks to his tutor (or maybe Bryan is more to blame), I had to spend several evenings pacing up and down the living room, with a stern expression while he worked furiously on a tough question set I had specially purchased. It worked! He was able to tackle difficult problems on trignometry, co-ordinate geometry, P & L, linear equations etc, with elan.

On the day he gave his test, I was running the Bangalore Ultra. When he finished his test he told me it was good but he was afraid about his being in the list of selected students. I told him that he had practiced enough and that this is all that was required to succeed. I drew out an analogy and told him that I wake up at dawn just to wear my shoes and go out for a run while most people are asleep. He understood that this had brought me several successful marathon finishes. He got his answer that practice makes perfect, when he was informed the result of his selection by IITan Pace. He was so happy, he ordered Chinese food with his own allowance and promised Dojo a full chicken. Unfortunately, he has not kept his promise to Dojo and when I reminded him last night about it, he said, "Arey yaar, I said it in my excitement"!!! I have now to teach him that promises such as these are not made to be broken. Dojo, poor chap is clueless about all the excitement but he is happy when Bryan is happy because he is the first to be at teh receiving end of Bryan' ire, should Bryan be in a foul mood.

Marathon Man

Dojo our Daschund, the only unconditional lover, yelped as I reached home from tour, today. He rolled over for his regular tickle on the belly and told me, in his own way that I have been travelling too often over the last four days. I was suffering from a bout of melancholy brought about by revelations of dark hearts and thoughts in some people that I know. My despair over the "it takes all sorts to make the world" evaporated with Dojo' canine love. I held him and hummed my favorite tune with my own touch to the lyrics;


Who draws the crowd and runs so proud,
Baby it's the marathon man.
Who's gonna steal the show, you know
Baby it's the marathon man,

He can make you love, he can make you cry
He will bring you down, then he'll get you high
Somethin' keeps him goin', miles and miles a day
To find another race to slay.

Night after night who treats you right,
Baby it's the marathon man
Who's on the radio, you go listen
Its the marathon man

Then he comes to town, and you see his face,
And you think you might like to take his place
Somethin' keeps him driftin' miles and miles away
Searchin' for some races to slay.

Then you listen to the music and you like to sing along,
You want to get the meaning out of each and ev'ry song
Then you find yourself a message and some words to call your own
And take them home.

He can make you love, he can get you high
He will bring you down, then he'll make you cry
Somethin' keeps him movin', but no one seems to know
What it is that makes him go.

Then the lights begin to flicker and the sound is getting dim
The stride begins to falter and the crowds are getting thin
But he never seems to notice he's just got to find
Another race to slay,
Fade Away. Got to Play.
Fade Away. Got to Play.

The Marathon and beyond

Ever since my friend Raj ran the Bangalore Ultra last year and some of the other runners finished the Comrades this year, I have had this desire to run beyond the extremely testing distance (so far) of the standard marathon. While most of my fellow runners were planning distances of 75K and 100K, I thought, given my obnoxious training regimen, that I should just test myself for a 50K.

There were about 10 - 12 of us from our closely knit running group and the meet up at the airport was reminiscient of a school picnic. I enjoyed our flight and the jokes that were traded. Bangalore felt fresh and cool, and our transport to the apartment complex, where we were put up, was swift. The rooms were clean and freshly made up and there was a nice restaurant that dished out fare appropriate for our carbo-loading binge. I was not in the best of conditions and in fact, had often dwelled on cancelling my visit. I was afflicted with a chest cold that seemed to be tenacious and even an antibiotic course did not help in dislodging the phlegm in my lungs. I decided to play it by ear and run the race as best I could. Monsoon was extremely worried, fully aware that a 50K distance is something you don't screw with, especially when you are incapacitated with a cold.

Race day arrived with a 3am wake up call and a flurry of activity to use the bathroom and get ready. The drive to the race venue brought a rather disturbing sight for me. I saw that someone had run over a puppy in the pre-dawn darkness and I choked on my emotions as I saw that the poor fellow was actually trying to get away from the vehicle. There were four other puppies that seemed lost and despite my best effort they kept wandering below the tyres of my parked car. There were impatient honks from other cars that were now lined up because I was holding up traffic. Finally I caught each puppy and kept them as far away from the road as was possible and drove off. I think it worked because on the return after the race, I saw the same cute little fellows playing around.

The race venue was a beehive of activity with registrations and the 100K / 75K runners having already started their races. I took my bib and then a groan from my innards made me realize that I needed to visit the washroom. We got a big cheer from the organizers for Mumbai runners and the race began without too much of a fuss. Right from the word go I felt the exertions winding me and I had premonitions of not finishing. But then I am an experienced distance runner and have a finely tuned inner GPS. I adjusted pace and worried about hanging on without any care for my finishing time. I was more concerned about wearing the Tee given to me, which said, "BANGALORE ULTRA, ITS TOUGH. ARE YOU?". It reminded me of a "tank top" I once purchased when I used to strength train, which said, "DON'T WEAR IT, IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT". I intended to wear this one - and mean it!

The race is a loop of 12.5K to be run four times. I ran the first three loops keeping a close watch on my heart rate and realized I was now maxing out and in danger of deep exhaustion. The fourth loop arrived to my relief and I then allowed myself a brief walk to regain some strength in my legs. I caught up with most of the runners that had gone way ahead. This is the benefit of wisdom in distance running:-) I met Amit and perhaps it was not so good an idea to run together because we lost our seriousness about finishing in sub 6 hrs and instead made the last 6K into a walker' club, with Mahesh in tow. I do not regret it one bit because it was the best part of the race. The course was a trail that was full of deceptive inclines and uneven surfaces that tested your talo-calcanear joint' flexibility and strength. The sun was blazing mercilessly but we were a threesome of jocund runners that had nary a care in the world and ran - walked - danced our way to the finish line - holding hands, for good measure, just before we stepped onto the timing mat at the finish:-)

I unwound and paced around while my fellow runners went for lunch and decided to wait for Roshni and Madhu. Each of them came in completely exhausted and beat up. Madhu was the braveheart that ran this race despite a serious injury to her tibia, showing degeneration in places. I was amazed that she lasted the 37.5K that she ran before I convinced her that pushing for 50K was not worth it. Our entire group from Mumbai rocked at the Ultra and we got accolades for it. To my surprise I got the third position in the men' senior category and Roshni got a similar position in the female open category. We returned to our rooms at the apartment and had a brief but fun-filled tipple. Our flight back to Mumbai was delayed by more than an hour and we reached Mumbai at 1am, realizing that we had been on our feet for 22 hrs!! Amit commented that most people that do not understand us runners would wonder as to what it is that drives us to flog ourselves in this manner. Only a real runner will understand this:-)

Mood enhancing hues

My house is being painted and the mess that you have to bear with makes it seem that you could go crazy. Furniture moved, clothes in a heap, white "primer" dust everywhere and you can't find your things because you had to clear them from their normal place. However, when its all done (and we are not done yet), it all seems worth it. The soft hues make the house seem homlier and brings on some much needed cheer. Dojo has been the most affected because he can't seem to understand why he is locked up in a room the whole day and he is petrified of the sound made by the floor marble polishing machine. Poor chap, he wimpers when I get home, telling me that he can't cope with this mess. How do I tell him that I too have the same problem?:-)

I have prepared a collage of postcards with retro stuff comprising Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Chuck Berry, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, the Woodstock festival etc. It has a black background and looks precisely that - retro. I am happy with the handiwork of the frame maker and I toasted a Jack Daniels to it. What remains now is the medals, pics and certificates I have of many marathons; but, that will take up an entire wall!

I managed a quick 19K run on Saturday; much less than what I should be doing if I want to be prepared for the 50K Ultra in Bangalore. I seem to be the only person in the group that cannot train sensibly due to lack of time. I am not happy about my preps for this race. But then I have to make a lemonade with a lemon - as usual. I will not be able to train with a long run in the run up to the race because I have too many work related issues for every weekend. In comparison, my runners have planned 38 - 40K at Amby Valley and other places. Well, as Lone Ranger I will just have to count on "Kemo Sabay":-) I have to add this to my increasing list of disappointments. Maybe a nice stiff Jack Daniels will help - its the only antidote. That, the mood enhancing hues and the promise that......

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

A Thousand Splendid Suns

I read the book by Khaled Husseini and it is the poignant story of desolation and sorrow, of a woman named Mariam. It is possible to identify with her heart rending emotions as the author takes you through her blighted existence. I finished it and felt a deep sense of melancholy. I then pondered about our lives and the lives of so many in this world, of the hopes and aspirations; of joys and sorrows. Life is indeed hard and it doesn't seem like we are having a hard time when we dwell on Mariam' fate. It allowed me to brood over and take stock of my life on the weekend.

I plunged headlong into a foolhardy plan to do a marathon at Aarey with some of our runners and it turned out to be just that - absolutely foolhardy. I was in Jalna (near Aurangabad) and even as I turned over in bed the night before, I felt the dull ache of unrecovered trauma to the muscles. It was then that I felt the first pangs of doubt about this run. The next sucker punch I got was when I awoke at 4:30am on race morning and found that I had accumulated sleep deficit and was thoroughly exhausted. How does one cope with a situation where well meaning runner friends have volunteered to man water stations to help you finish this race? You don't; you just do it!

As it turned out the weather was a no-go for a long run, with its heat index in the "Heat Exhaustion" zone but who listens! We set out hesitantly at a snail' pace and soon enough I was feeling as if I was breathing in the same air that I was exhaling. At the 25K mark I decided that I would not do too much of this run in discomfort or pain - just not worth it. At 30K I threw in the towel which turned out to be a good thing because I checked my urine colour at home and it was dark orange! None of our group risked finishing the full distance of 42K and with good reason.

The next day was the meetup at the NIKE RUN CLUB' second season and I felt cheerful meeting familiar faces and new ones. After the meetup Dharam a runner from RFL treated me to breakfast at "Tea Centre", a speciality joint with a range of tea flavours. He is writing a book about his life and the transition he made with running as his best friend. I was envious and amazed to know from him that he is taking a 6 month sabbatical to train in the US (San Francisco Bay area) for a full marathon and to try and get a Boston Qualifier. He told me I figured in his book and that he had added a page on me and my tuppence worth of advice on running injuries. So much for my own plans to write a book:-(