Revelations

I wrapped up things a little early at work and as I headed home, I realized that it would be a while before the sun sets; enough time to put in a short run. I needed it to clear the cobwebs in my mind. As I wore my shoes, Dojo sulked and growled disapproval. Minoti gaped in awe and smiled at this dsiplay of emotion and exclaimed, "He is protesting! Look he understands!" Of course he does; dogs have keener emotions than humans and display them without inhibitions.

I began hesitantly with a shuffle because this was a "two-a-day" run and I don't want to exhaust myself, especially in this hot weather. As I found a little strength to my stride while crossing New Zealand Hostel, I mused about the vagaries of my business group and the undulating graph of revenue, very much similar to the course I was running. When its down the difficulty in facing board members is trying, to say the least. There comes a certain deeper sense of responsibility as an SBU head and this revelation stops you cold and makes you ponder. The lives and ambitions and families of the people working with you are dependent on your performance. Cash flows are required to pay duties and taxes and expenses and yes, salaries. It is fine when companies have cash flows that are in excess of these requirements; but, when it dries up, the real crunch and hollow fear sets in. I am glad I experienced the worst of this last year and was at the helm to understand how difficult it is. The forthcoming board meeting is going to be stressful - like it is for all who are at the receiving end. Fortunately, I have rounded up the year with a y-o-y growth that should be commendable.

I was now on my return leg of the loop and had fallen into a groove. I felt lighter as I pondered other revelations. Those on my running sites, that display puerile antics: solicitations, fake IDs, sabotage, one-upmanship, cheerleading, misleading posts on profiles etc. I am saddened by it all. I am sure all of this requires a lot of time and it amazes me that there are people with such "disposable" time. I learnt very early that jibes should be met with plain silence and blatant confrontation with fitting rejoinders. I miss my runner friend Mahesh; not because of the eulogies he utters in sychronous strides but because of his simple minded nature and humility. I am above flattery and even as I reach the end of my run, I recall Fermino' joke that evinced guffaws, some 30 years ago. We used to play carrom at the Goan Institute, more popularly known then as "Hall". Fermino commented mid-game saying, "Gordon is the second best player in the Hall". To this there was admiration, dejection, anger and hope in varying proportions in the rest of us, as we waited with bated breath to learn of who would be named "first best". When we heard Fermino say, "First best is rest of the "Hall"", there was an explosion of laughter and relief. Well, I learnt my lessons then and take any compliments with guarded modesty. You never know who is going to be "first best" :-)

I reached home and lay spread-eagled on the floor much to Dojo' joy of seeing I'd returned in an hour. He came over and flopped on the floor next to me, hugging his body as close as possible. I tickled him on his belly and smiled as I realized that I'd sorted out a lot on my mind. It was time to take a break cause I am tired now. With renewed vigour I set about my other pending tasks. Time to wrap it all up.

Sapped to the core!

It is important to emphasize the "core" in the subject because it is "core temperature" that did us all in today, in our medium long run. There were just 9 runners and we already had our Tee-shirts stuck to our back as we assembled and greeted each other at 6am. My legs felt stiff from the previous two days' consecutive workouts.

While coming in for the finish in the first loop itself, I realized, as I saw everyone reduced to a shuffle, that doing the second loop would be like finishing a 20 miler. I took in some water, ate a date and gestured that we should begin the next loop. Even as I covered 1K, I realized that, had I been alone, I would have returned from New Zealand Hostel, a meager 3K loop. But then, what is this group for, if not for goading each other to "over-reach" in our training?

When we reached the half way point in this second loop, I saw exhaustion writ large on Amit, Srinivas, Mahesh and of course, must have been on my face too. We stopped at the temple and poured cold water on our heads and joked that we were deceiving the body' thermostat, situated in the hypothalamus:-)) Mahesh and Amit had a good cackle on that one. Physiologically it is true that we did just that because the brain gets tricked into thinking that the core temperature has gone down. I told Srinivas that I need to walk and he was amazing in his "soft-voiced motivational pushes". He said, "At least lets jog to the base of the hill Dan" and I found new energy (there is always a reserve that we do not tap into) as we trudged on.

We stopped and drank some cold milk from a store at the bottom of the hill and I told these guys thru' gasps that I am done! Then Srinivas, the Psychiatrist, steps over to me and says, "Dan, lets just shuffle up this hill and then its down hill again - and you are the best at downhill running because of your quads:-))". I smiled and gave in and lo and behold, I reached the crest. My heart was now doing crazy things inside my chest as we sprinted down for about 500m and then Srinivas sees my absolute exhaustion and says, "Lets just jog up to where that man is standing" and I shake my head because I am going to collapse. However, as I said, there is always more that we can give and I did just that and then we were thru' and they (Mahesh andn Srinivas) zipped ahead like milers the last 600m while I was content doing what I felt was temo pace - where the hell did that muscle fiber recruitment come from!!

I will remember this run forever because I experienced something I have not experienced before - a mind-body connection in which the switch can be flipped either way - depending on how you train it. In conclusion, this blog is not complete without mentioning the deep bond I have with my Aarey runners like Mahesh. My mother is in hospital and he calls me up in Ludhiana to say that since I am travelling, he can easily make himself available for any running around that may be required, at the hospital. It stirs something inside you - truly like a blood brother - thank you my friend. Gotta rush to office and then do a beer at home, before I sink on the couch for a much needed nap.

Sukhna Lake

It was one of those business tours that I dread because I get hit by several double whammys. The tour was to north India and the weather is oven hot. I did a road journey from Chandigarh to Patiala and then to Ludhiana, on the first day, arriving my hotel at 10pm. The next day was spent meeting customers with long waits in reception rooms. The third day was the worst with a journey from Ludhiana to Kathua (near Jammu) and then to Chandigarh; a total travel time of 13 hrs! Then there is the rich Punjabi food and the endless rounds of "cheers" in the evenings. All of these calories that I load on the inside and the calories from the hot weather outside, play havoc with metabolism; end result? Blubber!

The fourth and final day was a respite because a runner from Chandigarh encouraged me to run at a place that I was sceptical about, at first - Sukhna Lake. However, when I reached the spot at 5:45am, I was amazed at the sight; it was a serene lake set in a valley and a soft runners' mud-track went thru' wooded gardens. What was even more surprising was that the chandigarh administration had thoughtfully provided drinking water fountains every one km. And then there was the pleasantly surprising early morning cool nip in the air that made it seem like the track was air-conditioned. I ended up doing a zippy 12K followed by an unscheduled 8K walk back to the hotel. At least that got some of the blubber to melt:-)

On my way back home, I pondered my life and the inherent push-pulls of work and family. I came up with a plan to spend as much of my time teaching Bryan, as is possible. I feel that it will add meaning to my life, besides running, and allow me to enjoy the subjects that I once loved; chemistry, physics and trignometry. I have a lot on my plate this year, in terms of my work assignments, travel, running and of course, the time I have to make for the NIKE Run Club. I ought to take each day at a time and not wallow in the maelstrom of commitments. I also need to focus inwards even more now. Well, first let me look forward to the vacation I have scheduled with another international marathon on the cards. I have not done a single predicted-marathon-pace workout because the weather will not permit me to do one. Lets play it by ear - as usual:-)

Summer Capers

On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I woke up to see the grey dawn and checked my "inner GPS" and it said, "You are going to get wasted today, Dan!" and so it was to be. I received further confirmation when I felt like lying down a wee bit after drinking some diluted juice. I had to force myself off the bed when I realized that Srinivas would be waiting for me. This was a long run with a group that has grown; we expected 26 runners today.

There were 22 runners when I reached the assembly point and it was a cheerful group that cocked a snoot at the suffocating heat and humidity that pervaded the Aarey forest. There was a group pic and then we shuffled off down the road, each wondering as to when they would throw in the towel. I was miserable from the start as I felt a dull ache all over from the strenuous strength workout I had pushed myself thru' yesterday. I was now certain that I would not be able to do the target 3 loops of 10.7K - it would be sheer lunacy - well not really:-)

Mahesh caught up with me on my second loop and smiled as he boasted, "Mein ne socha tha ke ek loop karun to bahut ho gaya, lekin upke saat daud ke mujhe be dekhna hai ke kitna kar sakta hun, aaj" I could only grunt at this compliment, too petrified to inform him that the mere prospect of holding a conversation with him was taking my breath away :-) Well, many of us did the compulsory two loops and I reached last because I was, well - wasted! They were all happily immersed in deep camaraderie and eating the sprout salad thoughtfully provided by Rajesh, thinking that if Dan is not doing 3 loops, lets call it a day. Well, I am only the excuse - they were well and truly wasted too!!

I took in some fluid and back slapped guys that were perched on a parapet saying, "Get up guys we are doing 5K now". I could see the misery and yet the embarassment of refusing me:-)) They dragged themselves ie Srinivas, Amit J, Mahesh (the eager beaver for Daniel Sir!) and Rajesh, who would have said, "Over my dead body", about throwing in the towel. We staggered and shuffled as I took them thru' a loop of 5K and then they added a spring to their stride when they saw that Pravin and Ashok were going to take pics - no one wants to look like they are walking! And then we reached the finish to gasps and "Oh God!" refrains:-) Such is the hard to find alloy called guts, that they discovered is what makes a true marathoner! Freidrich Nietzche' quote is apt - very apt - they'll find the "truth" when they race:-)

Sunrise sunset.....

Sunrise sunset, quickly goes the day.......
When did he get to be so handsome
when did he grow to be so tall
wasn't it yesterday when he was small

I had to recall "Fiddler on the roof" again because it has now really hit me hard - that Bryan has grown. In the last six months he has added about 6 inches to his height. He looms taller than Monsoon and I actually look foward to the day, he looms over me - physically and stature-wise!

I recall, it wasn't long ago, that I stood in the queue at "Rajhans Balvatika" to pay Bryan' fees for his Jr KG and now he is in Xth std! He has replies like, "For Chrissake, I'm not a kid Mama!", when he is told to take Minoti along to the bus-stop:-) - on days when I want to go for a longer run. The only nice thing is that he consults me for tips on building "abs" and about how many "assisted" push-ups he needs to do before he goes on to the std push-up.

I stepped out the door for my run today with guilt feelings about not dropping Bryan to the bus-stop. However, I told myself that I had been doing if for more than 10 yrs now and I can do with the break. Don't you think 10 years is a big sacrifice? Well, I never thought it as such cause I enjoyed each and every moment.

I met Rajesh during my run and the entire 1 hour duration was taken in a discourse on kinesiology and biomechanics. Rajesh is studying to be a Personal Trainer and took this opportunity to get his "fundas" cleared - the only problem was that I was constantly gasping for breath:-) Well, ok - it wasn't that bad:-) I'm glad to be back from business tour and look forward to meeting up with the large group of runners that will join me on Saturday at Aarey. Gotta think about a name for the group like Kingshuk wants us to.

In the long run

It was, by far, the most enjoyable long run I've had so far. I wonder how it all fell in place these past few weeks. I think, that at this rate we will all end up, as a group, making each other strong marathoners. The only words that came to mind when I realized my love for running were;

I used to hurry a lot, I used to worry a lot
I used to stay out till the break of day
Oh, that didn't get it,
It was high time I quit it
I just couldn't carry on that way
Oh, I did some damage, I know it's true
Didn't know I was so lonely , till I found you
You can go the distance
We'll find out in the long run

The day began with a "beep" penetrating the Beta - waves sleep and I had to wake up with deep reluctance and a grumble. I sat and "listened" as is my wont and found out that I was not really up to the long run that we'd planned today. I was thankful for the off-day I took from running, yesterday or else I would have been even more miserable. Anyways, I had to meet the group of runners that were raring to go for this long run.

We began our run and there were 13 of us and a few dropped out after the first loop of 10.7K. Rajesh, who had paced up quickly, decided to call it a day, after the 2nd loop. I thought as much cause the heat and humidity cannot sustain going out too fast for a long run. The steep hill took everything out of us and then there was just Mahesh, Srinivas, Amit, Sohanlal and me for the full 20 miler, while Ashok was spurred on to do his first 25K. Oh God! the third loop was a killer and I could see our star marathoner, Mahesh struggling. He kept telling me, "were it not for you Daniel Sir, I would have given up after 2 loops". I told him what I tell my runner friends, "learn to overcome fatigue in training and your race will be a "winner"".

The steep hill on the third loop with the heat and humidity and the Tee sticking to my body, was a real killer. I could just about give everything I had to keep Srinivas about 10m ahead of me, within my sight. I had a brief moment of vertigo (about 2 secs) due to low blood sugar, at the crest of the hill. Then, we were thru' :-))))))), Oh heavens! It felt so super to run the last 1.5K to the finish, it was like a real "race"! There was the applause from the others that were in awe at the fact that we actually did it. This is because there was exhaustion on each and every face after the 2nd loop and going for a third one was - well - a looney idea! I reached home and was achy all day long. The single "Carlsberg" beer I had in the afternoon felt like ambrosia:-)

Window to his world

I returned from an easy 10K feeling "pleasantly tired" as Lydiard puts it and plonked myself on the ground in front of the living room window. This window has been recenly increased in size and its sill from the floor level it now just 1.5 ft. The room looks bright and airy and the beautiful park (supposed to be the most expensive park in Mumbai) coming up right outside, offers us its expansive view.

As I sat with sweat dripping to the floor, Dojo came over sauntering in his languid style and rested his snout on my sweaty thigh. I stroked his fur and smiled as I saw that his world had suddenly expanded:-) Dojo is our Daschund and is a "shorty" with a sausage long torso:-) Earlier, the window sill being too high, he could view only the skyline, except for the occasional moments when I carried him to the window and pointed out less fortunate strays in the distance. Now, suddenly with the window height lowered, he jumps on to the sill (that has been widened to enable one to sit and sip morning chai) and looks out at a whole new world out there with people, trees, greenery and yes, lots of strays that chase each other for no apparent reason.

I made myself a cheese sandwich and had to hand over 2/5th of the cheese ("La Vache Qui'rit") to Dojo because he always "claims" his share much to Bryan' chagrin, who calls him, "Salla Kuthreya" in the Marathi drawl used as curse in chawls :-) Even as we finished our respective portions of the cheese, the maid came over with my half-fried eggs of which, a major portion of the yoke goes to Dojo, with Bryan scowling even more. I follow this post run ritual on most days of the week and Dojo, somehow, has acquired a Pavlovian response to it:-)