Farewell Dojo

If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where you went Dojo

As I awoke this morning, I reached out and shut the alarm cause my legs ached from the fatigue built up over several days of running and sleep deprivation. I skipped my run today and snuggled back into a deep slumber. I finally stepped out of bed and saw you panting, my dearest friend. I thought it was the stifling heat and carried you into the air-conditioned bedroom. I feared then, my Dojo, I knew something was amiss. You looked at me with doleful eyes and refused to lie down. For if you had done so, I'd have worried. You knew I'd be alarmed dear Dojo; you just sauntered out with a slow gait that was telling on how weary you were. I told Minoti to take you to the vet and as I was leaving for work, you came out to see me and say goodbye. I felt the hair on my arms stand out as a dark thought flitted across my mind. I banished it and chided myself for morbid thoughts. You came out of the bedroom to say your final goodbye to me, Dojo. The vet said, your heart slowed down with each passing beat, that the oxygen mask was shaken off by you.........and that you drifted into a blissful and peaceful sleep forever. I have not felt grief like this before Dojo. I surprised friends and family with the way I wept. I will see you on the other side and we'll be together forever. After every run I came home to you. This entire blog speaks so much about how much I loved you. I dedicate my race on Sunday to you. And when tonight is done and the dawn breaks, I will read this poem and feel happy. Farewell my friend. 

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said “It’s me.”

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning
and say “Good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out… then come home to be with me.

– Colleen Fitzsimmons