The game commences

An analysis about my running life and racing, that rose up thru' the clouds of thought, when I was in a quiet contemplative mood. Adapted from Dire Straits.

It's a mystery to me - the game commences
For the usual fee - plus expenses
Confidential information - it's in a diary
This is my investigation - it's not a public inquiry


I go checking out the reports - digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts in this line of work
Screwed up marathons - there's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason I still get used to it


And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of ties
Blinds on the window and a pain behind the eyes


Dan, step out the door, get ready to train
Oh! don't you worry, there is much to gain
Tenuous ties - no compensation
This is my - private investigation

No excuses

I have agonized a lot about this blogpost and finally realized that it is MY blog and I should keep the facts here for posterity. I must now share that although I had a horrible experience in my marathon at Auroville, I am truly proud of my achievement and have to thank God for it. However, I am also deeply disappointed with myself for sheer stupidity.

It all began at precisely 3:45am on the morning of the marathon. I am not sure whether it was the new electrolyte that I imbibed at 1:30am or the Horlicks Nutribars (did you check the expiry date?) that I was trying out for the first time (how utterly stupid of you, Dan!) or both, that caused disaster. I got my first indication of diarrhoea when I found my first call of nature to be semi-liquid. I did not think much of it because after all it was the first call that morning. When I reached the start line, I felt a shiver when my stomach groaned. I wanted to find a place to go for my second call that morning but I'd already reached the start very late - thanks to losing my way earlier:-) So, I sat quietly on a rock talking to Kingshuk, held on and prayed for divine assistance in "plugging the leak" until the finish.

It was not to be: I went for my second call at the 9km mark, in the darkness and in the bushes - I realized that if I waited long, it would be dawn and runners would see me:-) However, I don't think I could have waited long because by now the contents of my intestines were more liquid. I felt tears welling up as I realized that I would have to drop out of the race in a short while. It is the reason why my RPE was higher than I expected. It is the reason why I reached the halfway mark in 2:18; 21mins later than SCMM. I prayed fervently, "God, please don't do this to me in this race - please!". And so God heard my prayer - I believe in God, the father, almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I managed, and how! If one were to compare times of my fellow runners, one would see that most that had done the SCMM, were now about 30 - 35 mins slower at Auroville. In comparison, I was just 45 mins slow - Dan, only you know that you could have collapsed on the course - bloody ass!

I managed because I kept drinking electrolytes even though I had the urge to throw up during the run. The physical exertion was a strain on my heart and other systems trying to cope with a virus - yes, it was a virus because I am still unsteady on my feet today, Tuesday, and it is now the third day. I think it is a miracle that I finished this race and in a time that I think is super for the condition that I was in. I suffered dizziness this morning and wanted to stay home; but, I had work to do at the office. It was a virus because I threw up the contents of my stomach during lunch at Pondicherry. I survived what could have turned out to be a life threatening situation. I was advised to see a doctor but I'll give it a miss and observe myself today.

So, why didn't I write this in my race report? Well, I do think that most runners feel that one looks for excuses for a bad race and even if your reasons were genuine, they tend to disbelieve you. So, its better to cock a snoot and don't state your true reasons - I wrote my reason as "dehydration", but it was a half truth as it was only the "symptom" of the real reason. It is more important for ME to learn from this race. I am disappointed because I am fully aware that I have a weak stomach AND I was advising Madhu and Roshni about the perils of eating outside food, while travelling to Pondicherry!:-) I have never been as afraid as I have been these past two nights - I thought I'd have to be hospitalized considering the dizzy spells that I suffered in silence. Thank you Lord, for your goodness and kindness. Its true, Dan: as they day, "don't f*** with the full marathon" - but will I ever learn?

The Quick and the Dead

I was certainly not one of the quick that ran the Auroville 2010 full marathon - that privilege belongs to Ashok Nath; but, I was certainly close to dead at the finish line. I arrived at Auroville, with Madhu and Roshni who were doing their first full marathon to collect our bibs which was pretty simple and organized; though, the same could not be said about the arrangements for the dorm accommodation and transport for women. I enjoyed the pasta party and could have done with a second helping, if permitted and I noticed with a sense of longing that the chocolate cake that was served last year was missing. It was nice to catch up with the running fraternity and to make new friends too.

I was sharing a guest-house room with Dr Oak and we had some interesting notes to exchange on training and our running lives, as we talked on into the night, unable to sleep. We woke up at 3am, showered and drank some coffee; my miniature heater comes in useful on such occasions when you need to get your “fix”. We set out at 4:08 as the race was to begin at 5am and my first premonition about the shape of things to come came by as we lost our way in the darkness, trying to find the road leading to the assembly point at the start. We blundered in the dark aided by a faint glow from my cell phone and after some wrong turns and a circuitous 4K, we reached the start point at 4:47. I felt a dull ache in my legs, an ominous signal of residual fatigue from my SCMM race. I realized that my marathon was going to be 46K

I hoped for the best and eased into a gentle pace as the race began in pitch darkness. I tripped a few times and found I was not the only one as I heard a shout of “watch it!” several times, before dawn. The trail was lit by eerie glows from hand held torches shone to the ground by runners. At the 4K mark I realized that I should revise my target time from 4:15 to 4:30. At the 15K mark I downgraded it again to a 4:40 as I found the going tough. I reached the halfway mark in 2:18, a far cry from the 1:57 I had done at SCMM and my RPE was still high. The sun was up now and it was getting warm and sultry. I wondered, as my RPE went thru’ the roof, as to how I would really finish this race. The pain had seized my limbs as I found several runners overtake me.

There is no time to think about how much I hurt; there is only time to run – Ben Logsdon

I managed to keep running at a shuffle with the simple desire to get to the 32K without walking, a milestone that is hardwired in my brain. I felt refreshed at some points along the trail as I looked ahead to see a lonely path with nary a runner except a bird twittering on a far off tree and the sun’ rays streaming thru’ the trees. I managed, quite commendably, to reach the 36K point at this shuffle and then relaxed my limbs by walking for about 300m to the aid station. I felt recovered enough to begin my painful sojourn to the finish line even as I heard a race official providing wishful encouragement with a, “Just 6K to go. You’re looking good”. I smiled as I fully well know what an eternity 6K will turn out to be. I staggered on looking for the signboard showing 39 kms for I knew that the finish from there is mentally within my grasp.

I was now looking for a face saving sub 5hrs, a time I had never done in any of my previous marathons. I realized that if I didn’t speed up, I would reach in about 5:01. The dire warning must reset neuromuscular pathways because I don’t remember the next 3K except that my legs were moving fast and my lungs were bursting. I somehow found myself on the path leading to the finish enclosure and added a zip to my finish as I saw Rajesh Vetcha cheering me on. I looked at my watch and heaved a sigh of relief as I saw it stop at 4:55:35 – I am still to fathom this miracle. The race had taken so much out of me that I suffered severe dehydration and threw up about 3 hours later. I guess it would have been worse, had I not received some gentle attention from the masseuse (actually two of them :-)) in the massage enclosure; a place that I was firmly led to by a woman who saw me fall to the ground in exhaustion, near the refreshments enclosure. Well, the race had taught me a lot about post race micro-trauma and the time to heal before racing another marathon. I was, as the title says, almost dead, at the finish line.

Men, today we die a little – Emil Zatopek at the start of the Olympic Marathon