I am making the sacrifice and I will not dwell on the outcome, even if it doesn't work out. Two weeks and two job offers with not only a possible tripling of my current income; but, also a change in my profile to the big corporate league. I decided - I will have none of it! It means a locational change to a city not too far away; but, with Bryan needing me now more than ever, I cannot even ponder it. We discussed my coming home on weekends but it won't work out: my boy needs me, period. The Head-Hunter cannot understand my decision. I seek solace in words below, that formed a part of the life of St Francis Xavier. After all, my parents named me Vaz Daniel Richard Francis ( I do happen to like the fact that the Goa birth certifcate says, "Ricardo":))
"I was dazzled by the glitter of wealth; I was deceived by the promises of the world." The inexorable Judge will answer, "I warned you against these. Did I not say?"
What doth it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and suffers the loss of his own soul? (Matt. 16:26) - Ven. Louis of Granada - The Sinner's Guide
I went to the Gym today and worked out this aging body of mine and felt proud it responded well. There was this barrel-chested college student that did a Dead-lift with 150 lbs and dropped the bar with a thud. I had just walked in and seeing that the Bench-Press was occupied, paused to look at the bar and in a fit of lunacy, lifted it to do 8 reps of Dead-lift. The college student walked away bewildered. I worked on all the sets in my workout sheet, possessed with a frenzy that got me thru' the routine with a burn and a heaving chest, and maybe it had something to do with my own frustration.
I have taken time off to teach Bryan Physics, Chemistry and Biology, and so far, we seem to be doing well. The next two years are crucial and my sacrificing my own career will tell me whether my sacrifice is worth it. Worth be damned because I first need to sow the seeds well, if I want to harvest a good crop. God will provide the rest of the ingredients and the other inputs that are currently unpredictable (like rain) - I read recently about "deterministic unpredictability" and maybe my subconcious will work out a solution to this uncertainty and make it certain. Meanwhile, I have to let it be.....( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs)
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
