Baby steps

It is now two months since I was discharged from hospital after being taken seriously ill. The recovery process has, as it should be, been slow. Afterall, my heart had taken a beating and well, it had almost stopped....beating! Upon discharge, the ventricular ejection-fraction was low and this meant that it was not pumping to full capacity. This is especially disheartening for me as a distance runner. It means there would not be enough blood to feed the muscles in my legs, should I choose to go for a jog.

This stunning realization hit me like a ten ton truck, when I tested my legs for my first group run this week. It was just as if I was a beginner; like all the people that I have trained at the NIKE RUN CLUB. My exertions came to a grinding halt within 400m of my jog and I had to be content shuffling like an old man! So here I was, Zico the marathoner, with 23 marathons to his name, struggling to run his first km:) How much more humbling can it get? I walked a while and having recovered, resumed my jog again. This walk-run process, a toddler' measure, that I prescribe to newbies, is what I got a taste of.

I have difficulty explaining to walkers at Aarey, that have looked up to me for years, as the epitome of health & fitness, as to why I seem to walk more than run nowadays. I smile sheepishly and often state that I have been away for long or that I am enjoying the rain. I have been walking up the hill that has defined me in all these years. When I was the lone runner at Aarey in 1999, walkers looked on with amazement as I coasted along at a gallop, on that incline. I prided in never walking that hill; but, today is a different story. It is precisely this that will spur me on to getting back to what I used to be - conquering that hill at least at a canter.

Until then, I have to watch with longing as the guys doing their 12 marathons in 12 months keep their date with the run every month, their cheerleaders in tow. I have joined them for three of these runs. I realised that I am truly alone in nursing my health, emotions and bruised ego back to feeling respected and cared about with my runner friends and pupils. There are expressions of sympathy that are meant to alleviate some of the pain but real empathy that soothes the senses comes from a few good men and women. I feel lonesome, watching as they run past and I'm singing;

Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet
Who finds the money when you pay the rent?
Did you think that money was heaven sent?

Friday night arrives without a suitcase
Sunday morning creeping like a nun
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlegs
See how they run