No excuses

I have agonized a lot about this blogpost and finally realized that it is MY blog and I should keep the facts here for posterity. I must now share that although I had a horrible experience in my marathon at Auroville, I am truly proud of my achievement and have to thank God for it. However, I am also deeply disappointed with myself for sheer stupidity.

It all began at precisely 3:45am on the morning of the marathon. I am not sure whether it was the new electrolyte that I imbibed at 1:30am or the Horlicks Nutribars (did you check the expiry date?) that I was trying out for the first time (how utterly stupid of you, Dan!) or both, that caused disaster. I got my first indication of diarrhoea when I found my first call of nature to be semi-liquid. I did not think much of it because after all it was the first call that morning. When I reached the start line, I felt a shiver when my stomach groaned. I wanted to find a place to go for my second call that morning but I'd already reached the start very late - thanks to losing my way earlier:-) So, I sat quietly on a rock talking to Kingshuk, held on and prayed for divine assistance in "plugging the leak" until the finish.

It was not to be: I went for my second call at the 9km mark, in the darkness and in the bushes - I realized that if I waited long, it would be dawn and runners would see me:-) However, I don't think I could have waited long because by now the contents of my intestines were more liquid. I felt tears welling up as I realized that I would have to drop out of the race in a short while. It is the reason why my RPE was higher than I expected. It is the reason why I reached the halfway mark in 2:18; 21mins later than SCMM. I prayed fervently, "God, please don't do this to me in this race - please!". And so God heard my prayer - I believe in God, the father, almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I managed, and how! If one were to compare times of my fellow runners, one would see that most that had done the SCMM, were now about 30 - 35 mins slower at Auroville. In comparison, I was just 45 mins slow - Dan, only you know that you could have collapsed on the course - bloody ass!

I managed because I kept drinking electrolytes even though I had the urge to throw up during the run. The physical exertion was a strain on my heart and other systems trying to cope with a virus - yes, it was a virus because I am still unsteady on my feet today, Tuesday, and it is now the third day. I think it is a miracle that I finished this race and in a time that I think is super for the condition that I was in. I suffered dizziness this morning and wanted to stay home; but, I had work to do at the office. It was a virus because I threw up the contents of my stomach during lunch at Pondicherry. I survived what could have turned out to be a life threatening situation. I was advised to see a doctor but I'll give it a miss and observe myself today.

So, why didn't I write this in my race report? Well, I do think that most runners feel that one looks for excuses for a bad race and even if your reasons were genuine, they tend to disbelieve you. So, its better to cock a snoot and don't state your true reasons - I wrote my reason as "dehydration", but it was a half truth as it was only the "symptom" of the real reason. It is more important for ME to learn from this race. I am disappointed because I am fully aware that I have a weak stomach AND I was advising Madhu and Roshni about the perils of eating outside food, while travelling to Pondicherry!:-) I have never been as afraid as I have been these past two nights - I thought I'd have to be hospitalized considering the dizzy spells that I suffered in silence. Thank you Lord, for your goodness and kindness. Its true, Dan: as they day, "don't f*** with the full marathon" - but will I ever learn?